What to Say When Your Mind is a Mess: The Truth About Affirmations (and What to Try Instead)

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Ugh, I can’t do this,” or “I’ll never be good enough,”… and then spiraling into a vortex of self-doubt, stress, or shame?

Welcome to the human brain.

Here in the Untangled world, we believe your words—especially the ones you say to yourself—are one of the most powerful tools you have to create the life you actually want. And that’s where affirmations come in.

But before you roll your eyes and imagine some Pinterest-worthy “I am enough” quote slapped on a vision board you never look at again, let’s dig deeper.

Because if affirmations haven’t worked for you before… you’re not broken. You just might need a new approach.

The Real Reason Affirmations Work (and When They Don’t)

Affirmations aren’t magic. They’re science.

Your brain is a pattern machine, and it believes what it hears often enough—especially from you. This is thanks to something called neuroplasticity—your brain’s ability to rewire itself based on repetition and focus.

So when you start saying things like “I am confident,” “I am worthy,” or “I can do hard things,” you’re literally laying new neural tracks in your mind. Think of it as emotional weightlifting. It might feel awkward or forced at first, but over time, you’re building new mental muscle.

But here’s the catch…

Your subconscious knows when you’re lying. If you're sobbing into your coffee saying, "I am abundant," your brain might just roll its eyes and whisper, “Girl, please.”

That’s why sometimes affirmations fall flat.

What to Do Instead: Meet the Feel-Good Formula of Affirmations

If “I AM” feels like too big a stretch, try these gentler, more aligned alternatives that won’t spark internal resistance. These are my go-to tweaks I use with clients every day to help shift mindset without feeling fake or forced.

💗 “I LOVE...” Statements

Great when: You need to sneak in a good vibe without triggering your BS meter.
Instead of “I am happy,” try:
→ I love the feeling of peace in my body
→ I love when things fall into place
→ I love feeling light and free

🌱 “I AM OPEN TO...” Statements

Great when: You feel blocked or skeptical but want to stay in possibility.
→ I am open to things working out better than I imagined
→ I am open to new solutions
→ I am open to more abundance

🛠 “I CHOOSE...” Statements

Great when: You’re ready to take your power back.
→ I choose to move forward even when it’s hard
→ I choose to believe in myself
→ I choose peace over perfection

✨ “I ALLOW...” Statements

Great when: You want to receive instead of hustle.
→ I allow myself to be supported
→ I allow joy to show up unexpectedly
→ I allow life to be easy

🚶‍♀️ “I AM BECOMING...” Statements

Great when: You’re growing and don’t want to pretend you’re “there” yet.
→ I am becoming more grounded every day
→ I am becoming someone who trusts herself
→ I am becoming more financially secure with each decision I make

🔥 “I RELEASE...” Statements

Great when: You need to clear the junk first.
→ I release the fear that’s been holding me back
→ I release the need to prove myself
→ I release comparison, judgment, and perfectionism

🥇 “I ACKNOWLEDGE...” Statements

Great when: You forget how far you’ve come.
→ I acknowledge how brave I’ve been
→ I acknowledge my growth even when it’s messy
→ I acknowledge that I’ve survived every hard thing so far

🧠 “AFFORMATIONS” (aka Affirmation Questions)

Created by Noah St. John, these flip the script by asking your subconscious for evidence instead of declaring something it doesn’t yet believe.
→ Why is everything working out for me?
→ Why do I attract the right opportunities at the right time?
→ Why do I feel so clear and confident lately?

When to Use Affirmations (and When to Just Breathe)

Affirmations aren’t just cute morning mantras. They’re your anchor. Use them:

• In the morning to set the tone for your day
  
• In the car, in the shower, while folding laundry—yes, really
  
• Before a tough conversation
  
• After a trigger or spiral to ground yourself
  
• Anytime you need to return to your emotional Dock (Untangled fam, you know the vibe)
  

And remember: You don’t have to believe the words fully to begin. You just need to be willing to lean in. That’s where the shift begins.

Your Mini Affirmation Toolkit

Here’s how to make affirmation work a part of your daily Dock Work:

1. Pick 3 statements that feel slightly stretchy—but not fake.
   
2. Write them on a sticky note, mirror, or as an alarm on your phone.
   
3. Say them out loud every morning and night. Bonus points if you say them while looking at yourself.
   
4. Breathe. Pause. Notice how you feel in your body.
   
5. Adjust when needed. Don’t force what doesn’t fit. The right words will find you.
   

Final Truth: Your Mind Believes You.

Every single day, your inner narrator is shaping your outer world.

So instead of letting old programming run the show, choose new scripts—ones that feel like freedom, like truth, like you becoming more you.

Start small. Stay curious. Say what you need to hear.

And if your voice is shaky? Even better. That means you’re healing.

You’ve got this.

Want help finding the affirmations that align with your journey?

📅 [Book a free 20-minute Untangled coaching consult here]
Let’s figure out what words (and beliefs) you need to rewrite next.

#untangledblueprint #feelgoodformula #dockwork #affirmations #emotionalregulation