Pause → Ponder → Proceed – The Secret Rhythm of the Untangled Life

At the very core of the Untangled Blueprint lies one of the simplest—and most transformative—skills you’ll ever learn: Pause → Ponder → Proceed.

It sounds simple, right? But this tiny rhythm—with alliteration that I love!—is the heartbeat of The Untangled Blueprint!  The Pause → Ponder → Proceed exercise helps us climb out of the water and back up our emotional ladder to the safety of our dock, where our WISEST self lives!!

Let me walk you through how this simple practice can shift your energy from chaos to calm almost INSTANTLY:

*PAUSE – Come Home to Now

When life feels tangled—whether emotionally, physically, or relationally—the first step is always the most powerful, and always the same: PAUSE.

Pause is the simple act of intentionally stopping ourselves before we react, spiral, or fall into the same old emotional loops.

It’s only in that pause that we can truly notice what’s happening inside and around us. This awareness is what Eckhart Tolle reminds us in The Power of Now—to “realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.”

Why? Because now is where we actually think, live, and choose.
The past is a memory; the future is imagination.
But the present? The present is where we create.

Pause is the first step of this powerful practice because from this still point, we begin to see clearly again.

Maybe we’ve fallen off our dock—our safe, steady place of regulation—and are floating in the rough waters of reactivity. Maybe our Wise Mind has been hijacked by fear, frustration, or fatigue.

It’s only in this sacred moment of pausing that we can become aware long enough to notice:

• Am I grounded, calm, and connected?
  
• Or am I protecting, performing, pleasing, or proving—those old patterns that take over when we’re not in Wise Mind?
  

*PONDER – Where We CHOOSE to Be CURIOUS

Once we’ve paused, we’re immediately—almost simultaneously—moved into the second step: PONDER.

Ponder is where we engage the courage of our Wise Mind and shift from judgment or reactivity into curiosity.
It’s the place where we begin to ask the questions that untangle us from the stories that steal our peace and joy.

Questions like:

• What exactly is happening here?
  
• What story am I telling myself about this?
  
• What’s my current perspective—and is it serving me?
  
• Who is involved and what are they showing me?
• What might this moment be meant to teach me?
  

Ponder reminds me of one of my favorite frameworks—The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. These four simple truths act as compass points, gently guiding us back to our center of peace and personal power.
When we bring them into our reflection, we might ask ourselves:

• Am I taking this personally?
  
• Am I using my words for good?
  
• Am I doing my best—right now, in this moment?
  
• Am I making assumptions that might not be true?
  

When we pause and then ponder through these questions, something powerful happens—we shift from reacting to responding.
And in that response lies our greatest power: choice.

It’s here, in the pondering, that we can choose to climb the Emotional Ladder, shifting from confusion to clarity, from fear to freedom, and back onto the dock of our Feel-Good Life.

PROCEED – This Is Where We Move Forward (Should We CHOOSE to Do So)

This final step holds the most weight—because it requires the most courage.

This is where awareness and attunement turn into aligned action.
It’s where we de-cide—literally to kill all other options—and consciously, intentionally, purposefully choose to move forward toward our Feel-Good Life.

This is where we ask ourselves what matters most.
Am I chasing a temporary feeling of relief, pride, or validation?
Or am I choosing the relationships, situations, and experiences that support my bigger picture—my peace, my purpose, my wholeness?

To know how to proceed, we start by asking a few grounding questions:

• Do I need to shift my perspective or take a new path altogether?
  
• Do I need to set a boundary or communicate differently?
  
• Do I need to check in with my Feel-Good Formula—my body, my emotions, my energy—and see what I truly need?
  

In this step, you might want to pull out a few tools from your Untangled Toolkit:
The Emotional Ladder — to name what you’re feeling and what you’d rather feel.
The DISC Communication Chart — to understand what’s driving you (or what someone else might need).
The Love Language Quiz — to re-interpret what’s really happening around you.
Your Dock-Work Drama Triangle Tool — to recognize the role you’ve slipped into before deciding how to return to calm waters.

Proceeding isn’t about rushing forward or pushing through. 
It’s about making sure you—your Wise Self—are back at the wheel, and that you are intentionally choosing where to go next.

Because only that Wise version of you knows your true destination:
The Feel-Good Life you were born to live.